(To my dear children and husband)
When you look at me
I hope you don’t question what’s inside
I must appear scared and confused
From pain and suffering always trying to hide
When you look at me
I hope you don’t see demanding perfections that cause you pain
My obsessions are based on performance and merit
We were never meant to attain
When you look at me
I hope you don’t see someone afraid to live or dissatisfied
My passion for His purpose in us
To find, I’ve too often agonized
When you look at me
I hope you don’t see fear so wrongly ordered
That it would cause you to look to any other
I hope you see love
being perfected as I boldly embrace the Word
When you look at me
I hope you don’t see something irreparable
Condemned and unworthy of affection
Rather in all my brokenness, I hope you see
His beautiful plan of redemption
When you look at me
I hope you don’t see distrust or endless striving
For these things, I desire to let go of
In everything that flows from my heart
I hope you see love
I imagine He hoped the same,
That we wouldn’t see weakness, destruction, and defeat
In His pursuit of us
I believe He said with His last heartbeat
I hope they see love.